Overcoming Nature Part 1: the Alpha Male

Sometimes I wonder how individuals draw the line in their evolutionary lifestyle, and I realize that within the philosophy there are all kinds of different conclusions about how to live wild in the modern world. Some climb trees, some still hit the gym. Some eat potatoes, some don't eat tomatoes. Some run marathons, and some do marathon wine drinking. It's a rich and varied world out there, folks.

Others have emphasized the silliness of historical re-enactment, but it's worth reiterating, because I wanna take the idea one step further, to culture. Much of the talk about what's good or bad about the paleolithic model tends to center around diet and exercise, but there are some profound ways that we are, well, being douchebags to each other. And yes, it's bad to be a douchebag. In smart people terms, there are identifiable natural mechanisms at work that detract from human potential and general human goodness. I think it's worth calling them out and playing them down.

Status Seeking

We are hard-wired for thinking about nearly everything hierarchically. Paleoanthropology touts the 'alpha male' model, where male hierarchy is formed by "a mixture of strength, hunting skills, and force of personality" (Bond 203), which leads to the alpha male designation.

In short, we want on a biological level to feel smart, strong, influential, and successful. But since everything is relative, this really just means that we want to be better than others around us. We want a better house, a more beautiful wife, a nicer car; in all, better status relative to others and especially to our own social network. These natural compulsions translate into careerism, wealth accumulation, selfishness, and so on -- all of which are 'totally natural' in evolutionary bro-wisdom.

So why's that bad? It may not be. There may be people out there being true to themselves by stepping on toes and that's all good. But there's a lot of unhappy people out there chasing goals they barely understand without ever questioning why they want those things to begin with, or whether the world and they themselves would be better off without those goals.

Introducing: The Douchebag Alpha

Ever meet a guy with an alpha male complex? I'm sure you have. He's the guy that gives orders like he's the boss, interrupts you while talking, rarely smiles, has to beat you at everything, doesn't share with others. You know the type. If you're a woman, you might 'naturally' be attracted to his confidence and social standing (more on this to come in the next blog post). If you're a man, you might respect him in that I'm-not-sure-I-like-or-fear-this-guy kind of way. But if you're astute to the ridiculous game he is playing, then you know the truth -- that objectively, this person is a douchebag.

I know where this discussion is headed. "But hey, it's only natural for a group of people to need to follow someone who can unify the group and take decisive action." Yes, but that's called leadership. Perhaps there may be a fine line between a leader and an alpha-douche. I mean to point out the difference between the two.

5 Things I Hate About Alpha Males

That fratitude. After coming of age, it shouldn't take long to figure out what is cool, and what is uncool. Or what life is about. So stop giving me your I-Am-Hunter face and be real for a second.

False leadership. A circle of friends is no place for a one-man cheerocracy. Take the thoughts, feelings, and ideas of others into account before acting like you run the show.

The motives. The respect? The status? All the girls? Grow the f*ck up.

It's obvious. I bet some men think they are sooo clever playing 'cocky-funny' to girls and sticking their chest out.

It's annoying. In fact, being alpha is bad for everyone, including the alpha. And check this out too.

Thoughts?

Paleo or Faileo?: The Bicycle

Before I get down to brass tacks, let's get people's sensitivities out of the way. Yes, the bicycle is the messiah of environmental restoration. Yes, the bicycle is the best invention since the wheel. Yes, biking is still a great way to go long distances. And yes, biking is a far better choice than driving.

Call me extreme, but I like to look at the facts before making up my mind. But sometimes, things are so ingrained into my day-to-day life that I don't even think about questioning it. Until I get a wakeup call. So it was with the bicycle when one nearly took me out of the gene pool.

I have heard plenty of horror stories about the bike throughout my life, always shrugging them off as freak occurrences or misinformation, things that could have happened whether or not the bike was involved. The story that should have opened my eyes was the one about my girlfriend's father. He took a big white work truck head-on at about 30 mph while going 15 mph himself rounding a blind turn on a quiet mountain road. He was nearly killed.

Even when Andrew at Evolvify recently broke his clavicle mountain biking I thought, "Terrible news, but it could've happened anywhere, anytime -- bike or no bike." I'm writing this post in admission of my previously faulty logic.

Every method of transportation has costs. The problem is that many of those costs are hard to measure, and some are hard to think of measuring in the first place. I believe strongly that risk of personal injury and the opportunity cost of bicycling are two of those things.

I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction or arterial iliac endofibrosis, which has been argued compellingly before; I'm talking broken bones, missing teeth or -- lord forbid -- a curb to the temple. Helmet or not, you're screwed. Most people don't even wear their helmet correctly to begin with.

The very first car-related death in our country's history was in 1896 when a car crashed into a bicyclist. And per mile, a bicyclist is 3 to 10x more likely to die at any given moment than a motorist. Under a thousand bicyclists die each year and 90% of them are men, which may imply speed and/or risk-taking as major factors. That's Lesson #1: Understand the real dangers.

But perhaps the most overlooked aspect of the bike debate is the opportunity cost, something that I didn't consider until I threw a disc with an avid cyclist. He was the pillar of youth and health: sun-kissed skin, powerful calves, a lean physique. I was a little nervous to display my rusty Frisbee-throwing skills ... until I saw him attempt to run and jump. It was a little bit like actual running and jumping, except he never left the ground with stride or hop, and he just looked old, like he was manipulating the skeleton of a decrepit elderly man. I'm not exaggerating. This guy ran with shoes on over grass like it was hot coals on his bare feet. It was shocking to see such lethargy from someone who looked so fit.

And then it hit me: If you spend all your exercise time on a bicycle, you are replacing time that could be spent moving naturally, developing useful and lasting strength and body coordination. You know, things like lifting, running, jumping, throwing, etc. Things that are paleo. So Lesson #2: Don't let bicycling replace real exercise.

I don't think die-hard fans of the bicycle should quit, but the dangers should be known and the alternatives should be flushed. Consider walking instead. Long walks are the base of the paleo exercise pyramid. The benefits are profound, the dangers are nil, and the opportunity cost is little. It's better for fat burning, too. But don't take my word for it.

"If the body be feeble, the mind will not be strong. The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is best. A horse (read: bicycle) gives but a kind of half exercise, and a carriage is no better than a cradle. No one knows, till he tries, how easily a habit of walking is acquired." - Thomas Jefferson